moments stretch before me....
moments i look forward to
moments i long for
moments i wish that i could endure.

situations appear
and i hide
i dream of a life
perfect.

full of my wants.
every dream possible.
all my actions - planned to enhance
the world, enhance
my being..

being me can
-is, deceiving....

those pushing in- are not welcome
those invited- do not come
those i dream of- are only that...
dreams.

i will wait.
i will, am, biding my time.
perhaps i will learn the desire to spend it wisely.

till then-
it is me
solo in my solemness
wishing for the world of wonders to
re-appear,
wondering if
i have already wasted
those best
and wondrous
years.

i hope,
maybe i should pray
but,
so many things-
well,
it just doesn't seem worth it.

i think perhaps
that is my problem.

but in a world-
absent of all- with
only, maybe
a splash of color here
and there
and dreams sprinkled
here... and there...
awake,
or asleep,
at times it all blends....

and then what?

and then what i ask you sincere?
it all blends for me,
so what ?
now how can i see
to make my life
something better
since i am
living?