6 May 2010

a beautiful day outside
with wind whipping through my hair
i want my feelings to be as beautiful inside
as it is beautiful outside..

an attempt at writing, a step in the right (write) direction (haha)
after a few days hiatus,
my fingers once again grace the key of my computer
and my mind tries to grasp hold of a thought floating through my head

i used to be so smart - i think
so many ideas, desires, dreams
so much energy, time, accomplishments
now,
now what?
i can't be less smart?
i feel if i had good ideas again, my ambition would come back
i have so much time now
time i am wasting -
when all i used to dream of was time
time to do all the things i want to do
now here is the time, where did my ideas and thoughts go?

perhaps, i am smarter than i used to be. along with my new found
"smartness", maybe i realized all my previous thoughts and ideas were trash.
now since i am the most intelligent i have ever been, even though i
thought i used to be smarter, i am so smart to now know i really am
not smart at all.
does that make any sense?

i blame it all on developing my frontal lobe. i was much smarter without it.

now frontal lobe, what shall i do?